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Love: Adoption, Foster, Godparent, Step-parents, Biological

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  • Love: Adoption, Foster, Godparent, Step-parents, Biological

    I spoke with a friend who they have 2 biological children (sons) & they have 1 daughter that they adopted about 5 years ago.
    I asked her about loving the adopted one 'exactly the same, as much' as her flesh & blood. She says it takes the "right kind of person, that not everyone can."

    I was a stepkid.... I don't know that I felt the same exact love as for my biological father.... it's different.

    I have another friend who they have 6 biological kids of their own, and they tried being foster parents...... it didn't go well.

    But I can imagine adopting a child as your own, I would feel the same love.
    And inheriting a Godchild, I would also feel the same love. This I know already.
    Marrying someone, who has their own children, maybe a bit harder to immediately obtain that same bond? Maybe not as deep, in all honesty?

    Who here has experience in all that, and can honestly say the differences (if any) in the love they feel for/with their biological children and their foster, step, adopted, etc.?

    Maybe a sensitive issue here, just looking for honest opinions, experiences.
    AsianLivesMatter + #LatinoLivesMatter + #WhiteLivesMatter + #IndianLivesMatter + #BlackLivesMatter = #AllLivesMatter

  • #2
    I was a stepchild, and have stepkids, so I can chime in. It does depend on the person, and the circumstance. Kids in divorce/ remarry situations are often used as pawns between divorced and new parents. The new parents have hard time stepping in without stepping on toes. But it can work. My first stepdad was a complete an utter . I hated him passionately. He died on my 16th birthday and I cannot tell you how good that felt. My 2nd stepdad I can truly say I loved equally, if not more than my own dad. And I was a adult when he came in the pictures. That makes a huge difference, the age of the kids.

    Right now I have 2 adult stepkids and I love them dearly. They're my spouses children, of course they are his world. Can I say I love them equally as mine, well that's hard. I've never carried them to term, wiped their butts, taught them to ride a bike. The love is equal, but different.

    Now as far as adopted kids, I know the most amazing couple on FOL that have several adopted children. They are their entire world. I couldn't imagine more love or bigger hearts!

    Fmaily dynamics are as good or bad as you want them to be. Each relationship takes work, with kids that are not yours, no different.
    Last edited by van; 06-01-2017, 01:58 PM.