I could not agree more....

[WestSider93]

Originally Posted by striped socks

I agree. I see so many helicopter parents who do everything for their children-school projects, homework, take their kids their lunch and homework if they forget it at home,etc.

I agree with most things, and I totally agree that we have become an award happy society and parents do too much, etc. BUT....If my kids forget their lunch, or even their homework AND my wife or I are available to deliver it to school, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that, at all...were there times we couldn't deliver like that? Of course. But if we could, we did...that's called being a parent....I remember an exact case when my son, who will be a senior next year, had stayed up very late trying to finish all of his homework one evening during middle school, we are talking midnight...it was a long night...and all of that hard work didn't make it into his backpack the next morning...what kind of message would that send a kid, who stood to lose quite possibly all credit for all of that hard work and missed sleep, just because his parents wanted to teach him a lesson? There is a time for lessons...I totally disagree that refusing to help out my kid because he forgot to pack his homework is the time for such lessons.

[spidermac]

This is an interesting topic...

I remember when my son participated in a particular TKD tournement. Leading up to the tourney, I suggested to him he needed to practice so he would be prepared. He dicided he was prepared enough, and played video games in his free time instead. Anyway, he went to the tournament and did not perform well. They handed our the medals for the boys who placed and then the medals for everyone else. I collected him as he was packing his bag up, and he just tossed the medal inside his bag. I asked him if he was going to wear the medal. He said "no". I asked him why not and he told me "it doesn't mean anything, I didn't do anything to deserve it". One of the prouder moments in my life. He was 10 at the time. The last time I saw that particular medal, it was still in the bag in his bottom drawer, not displayed with his other awards.

I thoroughly enjoy these learning moments...sometimes they are hard to watch...hard to watch your kid fail...but that is how we learn. My .02 anyway.

[striped socks]

Originally Posted by WestSider93

I agree with most things, and I totally agree that we have become an award happy society and parents do too much, etc. BUT....If my kids forget their lunch, or even their homework AND my wife or I are available to deliver it to school, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that, at all...were there times we couldn't deliver like that? Of course. But if we could, we did...that's called being a parent....I remember an exact case when my son, who will be a senior next year, had stayed up very late trying to finish all of his homework one evening during middle school, we are talking midnight...it was a long night...and all of that hard work didn't make it into his backpack the next morning...what kind of message would that send a kid, who stood to lose quite possibly all credit for all of that hard work and missed sleep, just because his parents wanted to teach him a lesson? There is a time for lessons...I totally disagree that refusing to help out my kid because he forgot to pack his homework is the time for such lessons.

They have to learn sometime and it is better to learn before they move off to college. Before mine walk out the door in the morning I say to them "Do you have your homework? Do you have your lunch?" If they still forget it then too bad. Now I am talking about children who don't have memory problems or learning disabilities where memory is an issue. I agree that forgetting every once in a while is ok and that is normal, but I am talking about chronically forgetting stuff because you know you will be rescued. Why bother taking responsibility when you know you don't have to.

In the middle of the school year last year my child left their lunch in the car at least weekly and I didn't see it until later in the day when it was probably spoiled. I told my child that they were responible for making their own lunch from now on. I gave a warning before the last time it happened. Guess what? It didn't happen again. Guess what? [b]They survived unharmed. lol[/Bl] How many second chances do we get in college or work? None that I am aware of. It is better to learn this earlier than latter when it counts worse against you.

This how I want to raise my child. I want them to know they are responsible for their actions or inactions now so that in the real world- college, work- behaviors will already be in place. I know adults whose parents always bailed them out of any situations minor and major and they are still very self-centered and not very self-motivated. When they graduated college they wondered why they weren't given $100,000 a year in salary and why they haven't advanced when they miss a lot of work and forget deadlines. They whine to their parents who still enable them. I am not talking about just one person. They quit their jobs when they become bored because they know mommy and daddy will pay all of their bills. I refuse to raise a dependent self-absorbed spoiled child who still behaves like that in their adulthood. I know what works for my family.

[Marion]

My kids were given participation trophies for sports in the young childhood era. No matter what kind of spin the coach put on the awards, my DH and I always told the kids, that the award was for working hard this season. lol
When do schools stop giving awards to everyone for expected work? Well, It's pretty telling that the "you are not special message" was given to graduating high school seniors. My oldest wasn't given an award for every success in high school, in fact he had more than one brutally honest teacher. A very good thing!!

[Momplus4]

Originally Posted by WestSider93

I agree with most things, and I totally agree that we have become an award happy society and parents do too much, etc. BUT....If my kids forget their lunch, or even their homework AND my wife or I are available to deliver it to school, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that, at all...were there times we couldn't deliver like that? Of course. But if we could, we did...that's called being a parent....I remember an exact case when my son, who will be a senior next year, had stayed up very late trying to finish all of his homework one evening during middle school, we are talking midnight...it was a long night...and all of that hard work didn't make it into his backpack the next morning...what kind of message would that send a kid, who stood to lose quite possibly all credit for all of that hard work and missed sleep, just because his parents wanted to teach him a lesson? There is a time for lessons...I totally disagree that refusing to help out my kid because he forgot to pack his homework is the time for such lessons.

there are exceptions to every rul and one case is not the norm of what teachers see from parents.